Next segment in our series which begins here.

It’s Who You Know, Right?

Undemocratic and unmeritocratic (is that a word?) thought it may be, the harsh reality is that, in large part, it comes down to who you know.

But you know that already.

The good news is that you probably know more people than you think. And, if you get their attention and permission, you may be able to differentiate yourself in their mind so that when they hear of X (a problem/opportunity that relates to YOUR story), they think of you.

Find Your Network

It's fairly difficult to have a conversation with people if you don't know where they are.

Fortunately, pretty much every social network of consequence makes it simple for you to reach out to those with whom you have had an interaction in the past.

Now, for some of you, it may seem strange to reach out via LinkedIn or Facebook to people with whom you have only had a brief interaction.

My answer: if you don't ask, you never get!

Besides, you will be surprised by how often some people will give you the benefit of the doubt and say, 'yeah, I'd like to keep in touch with her.'

Now, remember, your online appearance needs to be strong (more on that later) so that the person who may remember you has a positive impression of you when they see your invite, but assuming that, what's the worst that could happen?

They say no. And no one else knows about it.

On the positive side, what if they say yes?

They've given you permission to extend the relationship. Accept that permission and seek to earn a deeper relationship by showing them that you are unique.

Listen to the Conversation

Now, the flip side of having a large network is the responsibility of listening to what they are saying. It's not a broadcast, it's a dialogue.

Once the members of your network have given you permission to begin a dialogue with them, you will want to show them that you are out there, by responding to what is important to them.

If someone puts out an interesting status update, or blog post, or neat picture, or link to a cool site, comment on it. Offer a word of thanks and a different take on it.

People want to be heard and you can easily stand out by devoting a (small) portion of your day/week to cultivating your network by recognizing the topics that interest them.

This applies doubly so to people who aren't in your network, but you'd like them to be!

Let's call them the "influentials." These are the industry thought leaders, the super-connected individuals. The folks who can broker top-level introductions for you in your career search or business development efforts.

While you may not yet have the right to earn their permission to dialogue, you can still listen to them.

Read their blogs.

Comment on them.

Follow them on Twitter.

Join their Facebook group.

Once you understand what these influentials care about, you are a step ahead. You can (and should) use that knowledge (over time) to seek to begin a dialogue.

They are regular people. They want to be heard. But they also know their status in the industry food chain. They are quick to dismiss noise, but appreciate (and will advocate on behalf of) those who really "get" them.

Participation is Differentiation

Just to reiterate. When you participate in someone else's conversation, it is NOT about advancing your own agenda or 'message.' It is about genuinely listening and offering up suggestions based on the topic that is important TO THEM.

Let's say you are at a party. You walk into a room full of people chatting about politics.

You wouldn't start throwing out comments about sports or movies, would you?

Of course not. You'd listen and try to offer a relevant insight.

Social Media is no different.

Your credibility comes from your relevance, not from your decibel level.

Next: The Network WIIFM (What's In It For Me)

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